SIMILAR THOUGHTS

 

SIMILAR THOUGHTS

A STORY OF CRIPPLEDOM by JEFF

Author of The Power Of Difference

 
THE EMAIL
 
There was a curious email in my spam folder titled ‘Looking for a Man with no legs in a Wheelchair.  Are You Him?’  I read it.  All it said was ‘If this description fits you, please get in touch if you’d still like to meet devs.’  It was signed Hank with a phone number in my area code.  Hmmm, I thought to myself, and responded with my first name and phone number.  

“Is this Jim,” a caller asked a few days later.  

“Yes,” I said. “This is Jim.”  

“Hi Jim, this is Hank from the email.  I saved your address from a now defunct disabled website a couple of years ago.  You are a double leg amputee, I think, and I am a devotee and I just wondered if there was any chance you’d still like to meet devs these days, and if so, would you like to chat on the phone for a bit?  I realize this is totally out of the blue.”
“Gee Hank, this is a real surprise.  I’m a bit of a loner, have been since I became disabled, but yeah, I guess there’d be no harm in talking on the phone if you want to.”  

We talked for about fifteen minutes, trading basic information.  He seemed ok. He was obviously intelligent and had a deep masculine voice—both appealing qualities to me.  Finally, he asked if I’d like to meet him in a public place and have a coffee and I said sure.
 
Here’s a little background about myself.  I am an amputee.  About five years ago, I had both legs amputated well above the knees.  My leg stumps were so short that there was no chance that I could ever wear prostheses, so I was essentially a legless cripple for the rest of my life.  I thought of myself as a halfman, because that literally was what I was.  I looked like somebody who had been cut in half.  Sitting in my wheelchair, I didn't even make much of a lap, since my stumps were so short.  My gay life and sex life came to a screeching halt.  My gay friends mostly vanished and I was really struggling to just keep going, to get through the next day, much less have any plans or goals for myself.  I was thirty-five, had been a short guy—five foot six to be exact and weighed about hundred ninety pounds, but I was built like the proverbial brick shithouse.  I was okay-looking, some even said handsome, but I was never very comfortable with being so short. I had black hair, brown eyes, olive skin, and a fair amount of body hair. Sort of Italian looking, I guess.  Now I was considerably shorter, a little over three foot tall and weighed about a hundred ten pounds.  When I looked in the mirror what I saw was a head and a torso staring back.  I lost my legs in a construction accident—I was a construction foreman—and of course being severely disabled I couldn’t work construction any more.  I got a very handsome settlement from the accident so I didn’t have to work anymore.  I had a lot of time on my hands so I devoted some of my time to volunteering for wheelchair sports, supporting and managing wheelchair teams and athletes, but not participating myself. But like I said earlier, I was was a loner, a ‘handicapped hermit,’ so to speak.  
 
COFFEE
 
What the hell, I thought to myself, what’s the worst that can happen?  Some dev wants to jerk off on my stumps. I belted myself into my wheelchair like I always did when I went out in public so as not to fall out of it and rolled the several blocks to the coffee house to meet Hank.  I told him he’d recognize me instantly as I’d be the only no legs guy there. I won’t recognize you, of course, so if you don’t like my looks just leave. All he said was that’s something like that’s probably not gonna happen. I rolled into the place, getting the usual stares from the other patrons and found the token handicapped table reserved for chair users.  A guy approached me from the rear and said quietly into my ear “You must be Jim.”  I swiveled my chair around quickly, almost knocking him over.

“What the fuck!” I said.  

“Sorry bud, didn’t mean to surprise you like that.”  

“Yeah, I’m Jim,” I said and motioned toward a seat.  He introduced himself properly then and we shook hands.
 
He was about forty-five and good-looking in a rough kind of way.  He was a strongly-built man, a muscle bear-type guy, about six foot tall or maybe taller. Sitting in a wheelchair, it’s always hard to tell how tall someone is, since they’re always taller than you.  He was well built and weighed maybe two hundred fifty pounds, with a short brown buzzcut and a graying short beard.  He had deep, intense brown eyes and a quick smile.  He was dressed sort of like a blue-collar worker, in a work shirt and jeans and engineer’s boots.  

“You didn’t mention on the phone what a handsome hunk you are, Hank.”  

“And you didn’t mention what a good-looking legless man you are, Jim, plus having no legs—that’s a winning combo for a guy like me,” he said, looking me straight in the eyes and smiling.  “And before you get all worked up, let me just add that I mean it as the highest compliment I could pay you.  What’s left of you from the waist up is damned handsome.”
 
I sat there stunned for a few seconds.  No-one had ever approached me in such a blunt, non-pc way before.  But I liked it, in a way. It was simple, direct, and honest. There was no awkwardness or beating around the bush.  He said what I was and put it out there in plain sight. Before I could respond he said “I’ve been masturbating to pics of men without legs since I was twelve.  Before you express your shock at that, Jim, can I get you a coffee?”  I nodded yes.  As he got up, I could see that he had a bulge in his jeans.  
When he came back with the coffees, I said “Was that a bulge I detected in your jeans there Hank.”  

“Why yes it was,” he said, and added “Good eye there Jim.”  

“Well, since my range of vision is always at crotch level,” I said, “they’re pretty easy to spot.  You didn’t notice I had one too, because what little is left of my lower body was hidden under the table.  But when I get a boner, it’s longer than my stumps and it’s real obvious.”  He went really pale and I thought he might swoon or faint but he recovered and I said “It’s a pleasure to meet you Hank, I’m glad you emailed me.”  He coughed out something that sounded like “I’m glad I did too, Jim.”
 
CHECKING EACH OTHER OUT
 
We finished our coffees and I suggested we head to a nearby park where there was more privacy.  He asked if he could push my chair for me and I said ok.  He said that he hadn't had much experience pushing a wheelchair before and to let him know how he did.  

“Don’t you worry man, I’ll give you a full critique,” I said.
 
He wheeled me out of the coffee shop and into the park.  He found an unoccupied bench in a fairly secluded area.  He parked me opposite it and sat down.  

“How did I do pushing you Jim?”  

“To be honest, it was rough there in spots.  If you’re going to push a wheelchair you gotta do what the guy in the chair does constantly—survey the ground, anticipate pavement irregularities or other things you have to navigate over and adjust your speed.  If you hit irregularities too fast you can fall out pretty easily and believe me that’s no fun.  That’s why I have these leather straps across my chest and waist so I don’t fall out.  I’d give you a C minus.  I’ve experienced worse.  It’s not rocket science. You’ll get used to it pretty quickly if you push me again.”
 
“Man, I hope I get to push you again. I liked pushing you. I liked being your legs for you.”  

“I liked you pushing me too.  When I go out in public, I’m always pushin pushin pushin. It’s damn tiring and hard work, even if you’re in good shape.  It was nice to feel you take over there for a few minutes.”

“Anytime stud,” Hank said. “Hopefully I'll be pushin you a lot more in the future.  And yeah, I noticed the leather straps. I like them a lot,” he said and chuckled.  “I also noticed your wheelchair is pretty beat up, like its gotten a lot of hard use over the years.”  

“Yeah Hank, it’s the original one I got after the accident.  I have kind of a fondness for it. We’ve been through a lot together.  I have no interest in replacing it with a shiny new one.”  

“For what it’s worth Jim, I like it too. It shows you’ve been an active guy since you’ve been confined to it.”
 
He sat on the park bench staring at me for a minute or so, and said “Man I hate to say this, but you really do look like you’ve been cut in half. You have no lower body do you?  You’re like that German guy Florian whose pics are plastered all over devotee sites.”  

“I know which guy you mean and thank you, he’s great-looking.  No, I don’t have much below my waist, but like they say ‘Less is more!’”  

“Fuck yes! Mies Van Der Rohe the architect was right on when he coined that phrase—less is definitely more in your case.  Do you even have leg stumps?”  

“Small ones,” I said. “My legs were amputated very high, so high there’s no hope for using prostheses.  But the good news is that all my junk is still there and in working order.”  

“How do you keep your balance while you’re sitting upright, Jim?”  

“Well,” I said, “you have to develop really strong core muscles. They are the only way to stabilize yourself if your legs are almost completely missing.  The muscles of your chest, shoulders and arms don’t really come into play with upright stability. It’s the ab muscles that count.  My abs aren’t quite as strong as I’d like. That’s why I strap myself in when I’m in my wheelchair, Hank.”
 
“Let’s focus on you now,” I said, “Great build, thick body, somewhat hairy, great buzzcut and beard, ruggedly handsome face.  Who the fuck are you and what do you want?”  

“Well Jim, I’m a gay forty-two year old architect who designs modernist homes for well-heeled people.  I’m successful in my career and well-off financially.  In my leisure time, I like to look more blue collar and less upper middle class, hence the way I’m dressed today.  I’ve been jerking off to pics of legless men since I was twelve, like I said. It’s just my fetish, I guess, and I make no bones about it.  I’ve never really gotten to know a guy without legs before, although God knows I’ve tried often enough.  I tend to be a more dominant type guy, if you know what I mean.  I’m not in a relationship and finally decided to be more aggressive finding someone like yourself and here I am.  Now it’s your turn, Crip.”
 
I did a double-take there for a minute.  No-one had ever called me ‘Crip’ before, ever.  

“Well Hank, like I said earlier, I have never met anyone so direct, blunt, and non-pc about my handicap before, but I gotta say it’s refreshing in a way.  My handicap a major thing. You can’t ignore it, right?  I mean, a person can’t really pretend I’m normal and then when they act like I am, there’s all kinds of confusion and bullshit.  My whole being is defined by it and you put it out there directly with no apologies.  I like that.  I’m thirty-five,  I’ve been crippled for about five years having lost my legs in a construction accident, like I told you on the phone.  I’m mostly ok with it now, finally.  I’m also financially secure due to a large settlement over my injuries and don’t work.  My gay life and sex life is non-existent.  Since we’re sharing what we jerk off to, I usually jerk off to guys that look a lot like you, whole, big, able-bodied men who are in their forties and fifties, masculine, muscular, and dominant.  I was more of a submissive guy, pre-amputation, partly because I was fairly short, and I guess I’m even more so now that I’ve become even shorter.  When I had legs, I played around quite a bit with guys.  Since then, I’ve been pretty celibate.”
 
“Okay Hank, I’ve gotta tell you something.  You have this glow and radiance about you, I can’t quite put a finger on it, but it’s very appealing.”  

“Well Jim, I don’t know about that, but I guess if I am glowing or whatever, it’s because for the first time in my life I’ve met a man I’ve been dreaming about since I was a kid and we’ve actually spoken and interacted and gotten along pretty well so far, I think.  By the way, you look pretty radiant too, my friend.”

“Hank, when I lost my legs, I thought I’d never ever meet the man of my dreams, and yet here you are, actually speaking to me and liking what you see.”  

“Jim, I not only like what I see, I love what I see.”
 
“Shit, there goes my dick again. Excuse me a moment while I rearrange it.  Wow Jim, this meeting seems really profound. I think I’ve stumbled into and you’ve wheeled into a possibly very significant thing here.  How do you feel?”  

“Gosh Hank, all signs are good so far.  My head is spinning. I think I need some time to settle down and process you.  In the past, I met a few devotees who were all hot to trot.  And then, after they played with my stumps or jerked off on them or satisfied their curiosity about me, they lost interest or disappeared or maybe they just realized how much work it would be to have relationship with a guy like me and felt it wasn’t worth it.  But you seem like the real thing.”  

“Yes Jim, you seem like the real thing too.  And yes, my head is also spinning.”
 
We said goodbye and agreed to meet at the same spot the next day.  I watched Hank get up and leave, striding away on his beautiful strong legs.  I sat there for a while thinking about him, and finally wheeled home.
 
MY MOBILITY
 
The next day, I showed up where we’d spent time the day before.  I was really nervous that he wouldn’t show up, that he was too good to be true.  But he was already there, pacing up and down in front of the bench.  

“Man, it’s good to see you, Hank. I was afraid you wouldn’t show up.  But here you are, all handsome, manly, and on two legs!”  

“Hey Jim! I was afraid of the same thing, and here you are all handsome, manly, with no legs and on wheels!  It’s really good to see you again.”  He bent down to give me a tight hug.  He sat down on the bench and I manoeuvred my chair into a spot directly opposite him.  
 
We chitchatted for a while until he got serious for a minute and said, “So Jim, can I ask you about your mobility?  What kind of mobility do you have, like are you always in your chair?”  

“Well, I always use the wheelchair when I go out in public, but I’m not confined to it.   At home, I get out of it and usually handwalk on the floor.  I can also push myself around on a skateboard.  And then I can crawl, using my arms and shoulders to drag my torso across the floor.  I can also stump-walk around the house, using sawn-off crutches for balance, but I don’t usually ‘walk’ that way.”
“Holy shit, it would be hot to see you move around in all those ways. I’d probably cream in my pants.”

“Well, maybe we’ll see if that happens,” I said with an evil grin.
 
“So Hank, tell me more about your dominant streak.”  

“Ok, I like to be in control. I like to call the shots, decide what we do, what we wear, decide what roles we play if there are any, engage in what you might call mild ‘power games’ sometimes. I’m not into sadism or being a slave master or anything like that.  And I’m definitely not at all mean-spirited.  Sometimes I like to tie up guys, blindfold them, use mild bondage techniques, engage in some verbal abuse, but never physical abuse.  Basically, I like to have fun, get turned on, find out what turns the other guy on, and give that to him so we both have fun.”

“Well, since I don’t have legs for you to tie up, that simplifies the bondage thing,” I said with a grin. “Before I was crippled, I was always somewhat on the submissive side of things, like I said. The truth is I was short, only five foot six.  I overcompensated for my shortness by working out a lot.  The loss of my legs was a cosmic joke I guess because now here I am an even shorter, a three foot tall cripple and I guess I’m probably still submissive, although I haven’t tested the waters, so to speak, since I’ve been this way.  I definitely don’t get off on pain, but I used to like some verbal abuse and humiliation. It always made me get off real good.”
“But,” he said, “Sexual antics aren’t everything. I’d also like to settle down in a lasting relationship, ideally with a disabled man that is based on love and mutual respect that would be beneficial to both of us.”
 
“Funny you should say that. I guess I’m at the point in my life where I’m done with being alone too.  For some years after I lost my legs, I thought I was unworthy and undesirable, that I’d never find love and mutual respect.  But now I realize I’m just as worthy of that as anybody else and I too have thought about settling down.  You know being disabled is very hard work. Everything’s always a struggle, even ordinary everyday things.  It would sure be nice to share a life with someone who understands that and who would be ok with me the way I am and who could smooth out some of the rough edges.  I gotta admit I am also interested in what you said about the settling down part.”
 
HANK DRIVES ME HOME

“Jim, here’s my card.  I want you to google the hell out of me so you feel comfortable with me.  I can see how vulnerable you are and I’m guessing that you have to be very careful about who you let into your life.  One last thing. Can I pick you up and hug you?”  

“Hank, generally I don’t like to be picked up. It makes me feel like a baby. But in this case you can pick me up and hug me in—I’d love to feel your big strong sexy arms around me. It would make me feel all tingly, I think.”  

He bent down and carefully picked me up and gave me a long bear hug.  

“That was great,” he said. “I definitely felt some electricity there” and I nodded yes.  

“Ok, let me drive you home, Jim.  The sun’s going down and it’ll be dark soon.  I don’t want some pervert devotee molesting your hot crippled bod unless its me.”

 I said ok and we headed to his truck.  He had an F-150 with oversize tires and a high threshold.  

“This is my macho truck,” he chuckled. “The contractors I work with like it.”  

He asked me if I could get in the passenger seat by myself and I said sure. But when I tried to hoist myself up in the seat, I failed and I tumbled into the footwell.  

“Guess you’re not as strong as you think you are, Crip. Guess Big Hank will have to give you a hand.  Up you go, Jim,” as he picked me up and placed me in the passenger seat. He stowed my wheelchair in the back.  I hoped he didn’t notice my red-faced embarrassment when my attempt to get in the seat backfired.
 
Outside my place, he got the chair out of the back of the truck and reached in to pick me up from the seat and put me in my chair.  

“Like I said, I could get real used to being your legs for you Jim.  I really mean that!”  

He said he’d call me tomorrow.  Before he left, he gave me a high five and bent down to hug me once more. I felt tingly all over again.
 
SECOND THOUGHTS
 
I rolled into my small apartment in a kind of daze.  The next morning I googled the hell out of his name.  He seemed to be exactly who he said he was, a prominent local architect.  There were some pics online as well, some of him all dressed up accepting awards and a few from a pool party he’d attended.  In a t-shirt—man, was he built!  Like I said before, he had broad shoulders, defined hairy pecs, big arms I’d noted earlier, one handsome hunk of a man.  God, I hoped he’d call back!
 
The daze had worn off some the next day and I began to second guess myself.  What if his dominance thing had a real dark side?  Would I be safe?  Although my upper body was strong, Hank was right—I was very vulnerable. I mean, I couldn’t fight my way out of a wet paper bag if I had to and it’d be a piece of cake for him to take advantage of me.  So I slowed down a bit.  I needed to take it one day at a time and not get overly excited.  I jacked off three times that day to relieve the sexual tension I was feeling and every time my mind went right to him.
 
The next evening the phone rang and it was him.  

“Hey,” I said, “you called back.”  

“Hey Crip,” he replied. “I said I would and I always keep my word.  I’d definitely like to see you again.  Is that possible?”  

“Yes it is,“ I said, trying not to show too much enthusiasm.  “Where would you like to meet?”  

“It’s your choice, Jim. Anywhere is fine.”  

“Well, since you asked about my mobility, why don’t you come over to my place and see how the freak lives and moves around and then you can run off screaming.”  

Hank said, “I’m sure as hell not gonna do that and I’d love to see how the freak lives.”  

“Ok hunk, but just so you know I’ll have an able-bodied cop friend here just to be on the safe side.”

“Excellent, I don’t blame you in the least. If I was in your shoes—oh wait, you don’t have any shoes do you?—I’d be real careful too!”  

“Watch it, fucker! Just watch it, okay?”  

“Yes boy. I’m going to watch it alright. I’m going to watch it real hard,” he responded.
 
A DATE WITH HANK
 
The next night we had our first ‘date.’  Danny, my friend from high school and an ex-cop came over wearing his police uniform.  He works nights now as a bouncer at a well-known but sketchy straight bar.  He is tough as nails and looks it.  Since I lost my legs, he has been kind of my bodyguard I guess you could say. He vetted the few guys that showed some interest in me and in general looked after me.  Hank showed up right on time and Danny let him in and I introduced them.  

 

“Wow,” he said as he first looked at Danny. “I surrender, Sir. Just put the cuffs on me and take me away.”

Danny laughed and said something about his sense of humor.  I was on the floor like I usually am at home, leaning up against the sofa.  

“Yeah,” I said. “It can go too far sometimes, I think.” Danny told Hank that he checked out his record and he was clean as a whistle.  Hank asked Danny if he wanted to pat him down and Danny said sure.  He was clean, no concealed weapons.  Danny said “You take good care of my little friend here. Don’t get too rough with him but definitely have some fun.  By the way, I live next door so if there’s any funny business, I’ll definitely hear it. Just saying, a word to the wise.”
 
Hank was looking extra hunky that night.  His tight white t-shirt showed off his upper body handsomely.

“So this is where the freak lives is it?  It’s small and there’s not much furniture but then you’re a small guy and you don’t need much space or furniture do you, Crip?”  

“Nope, the only thing I need that’s big is you, stud.”  

“And here I am, big as life and all yours.  God! I love seeing you on the floor like that, Jim. Love looking down at you.”  

“I can see you like it ’cause I can see your boner from way down here,” I said.
 
I hoisted myself up on the sofa and he sat down at the other end and told him I’d googled him and saw some great pictures of his bod at a pool party.  

“Yeah,” he said. “Those are some good pics of me.  Now why don’t you take off your baggy t-shirt and show me your upper body.”  

I did and he said “Whoa man, you are well-built. Big arms, solid chest, big shoulders. Must be from all the hand walking and wheeling you do.”  

“Yup, all part of being legless,” I laughed.  

“Fuck!” he said, “We better slow down or I’m going to blow in my pants.”  

I started to put my t-shirt, but Hank said not to. He wasn’t through looking at my upper body.
 
“Man, I just can’t help staring at your pants. There’s hardly anything left like I said when we first met.  Your ‘pants’ are like only four inches from the waist to where they’re sewn up at the bottom and there aren’t really any pant legs. They just form a kind of a pouch down there.”

“Yeah. Like I said, my legs were cut off real high.”  

“Man, that is so hot and sexy to be all upper body and not have a lower body.  Please don’t mind my saying that, Jim.”  

“Well to be honest, Hank, it’ll take some getting used to but I think I can manage it if it means getting to look at you, stud.”
“Let me get us some beers from the fridge. Be right back. I thought maybe you’d like to see me carrying stuff while I hand walk. You know, show off for you.”  

I hand walked to the kitchen and got two beers and carried them back in one hand using the other hand to scoot along the floor. I got back up on the sofa.  

“God damn, man! That was so hot seeing you scoot on the floor like that with only one hand. Every move you make is a new porn show for me, Jim, you know that?”  I grinned from ear to ear.  

“Glad you like the ‘floor’ show, Hank.  Let’s change the subject. Why don’t you tell me more about your fetish, Hank?”
 
THE FETISH
 
We  opened our beers and he said “Ok, here goes. There was a legless man in the town I grew up in.  He sat in a beat-up wheelchair outside a store down town and sold newspapers.  He was a fairly young guy, probably in his late twenties, I guess.  I was fascinated by him.  From the waist up, he had a big chest, big shoulders, and big arms.  From the waist down, there was almost nothing, like you.  I’d go by him often and buy a paper and chat with him a bit.  As a fourteen year old kid, I was naturally curious and asked him what happened to his legs, stuff like that.  I was also concerned about him. He was so vulnerable just sitting there on the sidewalk.  I felt like I wanted to take care of him, make things better for him.  One day I asked him if he had someone who looked after him.  He said his friend ran the store just behind him and took care of him.  He said they lived together in an apartment adjacent to the store.  I said I noticed he always looked pretty dirty and he said yeah, he did, it’s pretty dirty out sitting on the street all day.  One day we chatted a little longer than usual and he asked me if I wanted to see his stumps.  I said no, that I was fascinated by his whole self more than by his stumps and commented on his big muscular upper body.  He took off his t-shirt and showed me his torso and asked me if I liked it.  I said yes I did, he looked really strong.  I also told him he was very handsome.  Some days I hid across the street so I could watch his friend come out.  They always hugged each other tenderly and then the friend wheeled him inside.  The friend was also a big burly guy and I could tell the relationship between them was real special but at the time, I didn’t know what that meant.  A few days later. I started masturbating thinking about him, or them, really—I guess I imprinted on him or something and the rest is history.  That’s how it all got started and I’ve had this interest ever since.”
“Wow! That’s a pretty interesting story.  Do other kinds of disabled men arouse you, Hank?”  

“No, not so much.  It’s pretty specifically your handicap.  Single leg amps, arm amps, other disabled men or wheelchair users don’t turn me on much.  I’m not turned on by double leg amps who use prostheses either.  Also, unlike some devotees, I’m not turned by the stumps themselves, but by the whole man. Some guys like blond surfers or smooth guys, or whatever. It’s my burden if you will to like double above knee amps.”

“I guess in a way, that would be a burden.”  

“Yes Jim. It’s been very isolating because you can’t go around talking about it. People would think it was crazy or sick and then if I were to find such a guy, he would probably have such hang ups or anger about his disability, he couldn’t accept my seeing him as hot, with the possible exception of you, maybe.”
“Yeah, I see what you mean. It’s a tough spot to be in. It’s another deep closet so to speak.  Earlier in my crippled life I don’t think could have accepted your interest either, but I’ve been like this long enough that I’m a realist now and don’t have a problem with devoteeism. Besides which, you’re totally my cup of tea.  Fetishes come in all shapes and sizes. Everybody has them. Some are odder than others, but I’m cool with it. Also, I have a fetish that might interest you.”  

“What’s that Jim.”  

“It’s about legs. It’s about strong masculine hairy legs like yours. I like watching them work, walk, and run, use them for whatever they can do.  I’ve developed this fetish gradually over time since I lost mine, but I’ve never told anybody it until now.”
 
DOMINANCE/SUBMISSION
 
“How do you feel about the dominance thing I have, Jim?”  

“I understand it and I’m ok with it.  You’re the boss, the decider, the leader It comes with being a big, strong, charismatic man.  I’m the follower. It comes with being a short guy to begin with, and now an even shorter one and a cripple. It’s a no-brainer. Plus even before my accident, guys were always teasing me or humiliating me about being short. I got used to it and even liked it. I mean, at least they were paying attention to me.  So now, I’d probably get off on being teased or humiliated for being a worthless freak and verbally punishing me for being a useless cripple.  So any verbal abuse you might want to throw at me would probably work too.  You’re the only person I’ve admitted this to, by the way.”  

“Thanks for telling, Crip. I’ll file it away,” he said.
 
“Why don’t you crawl over to me so I can give you a big hug.”  I crawled over to him and we hugged each other for a long time, our faces touching.  I thought to myself, wow this is a great start.  I hoped he was thinking along similar lines.   He drew me even closer and took my head in his hands and tilted my head up to kiss me.  At first it was just nuzzling but quickly turned into a deep kiss with a lot of tongue action.  Before I knew what was happening, he picked me up and took me to the bedroom and threw me on the bed.
“I know you said you don’t like getting picked up ’cause it makes you feel like a baby.  But I’d like to feel free to pick you up whenever I feel like it. I like having you in my big arms.  May I feel free to do that, Crip?”  

“Yes Sir,” I said. “It actually feels pretty damn good to be in your arms. So yeah, it’s more than okay.”
 
We had a couple more dates like that.  He would come over, bring dinner, we’d chat about our lives and experiences.  Talking with him was always easy and interesting and we learned quite a bit about each other.  But it didn’t go much beyond making out on the couch and getting boners.  On the phone later, we’d always relate how after each date we’d each jack off thinking about the other.  Then on the fourth date, the fireworks started.
   
 

 

SEX, FINALLY
 
“Now Crip, tonight I want us to make love to each other, okay?” Hank said on the fourth date.  I nodded yes.  Actually I was hoping he’d say this, because I was getting super horny just making out with him.  I guess he was too.  We went into the bedroom and took our shirts off. I looked at Hank standing before me bare-chested and I was overwhelmed by his rugged beauty.  

“This is me, all of me,” he said.  

“And this is me, what’s left of me,” I responded.  He jumped on top of me on the bed, careful not to crush me due to his greater weight and started kissing me all over my torso.  He rolled off of me and caught his breath.  

“My God, you’re gorgeous,” he said.  “You fucking take my breath away, Jim, you stunning man!”
I climbed on top of him and started fucking his hairy chest while kissing him and I came before I knew it.

“Damn boy, you must have got real excited there.”  

“Yes sir, you better believe it!  Now, let’s see how excited I make you.” I bent down and took his cock in my mouth and started pumping it.  He didn’t last more than a minute before he came and I swallowed his load.

“Hmmm,” I said. “I guess it works both ways.”  

“Yep, sure does” he said with an evil grin and reached over and grabbed a towel to clean us both up.  We held each other for a long time before we fell asleep.  
 
HUMPING HANK’S LEG
 
A few days later, Hank asked “Is it okay if I put a blindfold on you?  If you say no I won’t do it.  The point of it is it will heighten your pleasure a lot, I think.”  I nodded okay.  He slipped a leather blindfold on my head and suddenly I couldn’t see anything.  

“Now, I’m going to stand up and move off the bed and take my pants off.  You need to take your pants off and feel around and find the edge of the bed and slide off it onto the floor.  If you start to slip or anything, Big Hank will be there to help you.”  

I did that without a problem and now I was on the floor beside the bed.  I heard him take several steps away from me.  Hank said, “Now feel your way around the area and find my leg.”  

I groped around and found his leg, knowing where this was headed.  

“Now, fuck the hell outta my leg and while your doing that, I’m gonna be telling you what a worthless man you are and have always been, before and after your amputations and then I’m going to jack myself off all over you.” 

I grabbed his leg real tight and started humping it and he started in on me.  

“Shit man! You’ve always been worthless piece of shit. Not tall enough to be a real man. You were just an overgrown boy, really.  You worked out a lot to beef up but that didn’t make you any taller or make you more of a man, did it?  No it did not.  You always had to look up to the men you admired, right?  Yes you did, always looking up, always.  And then you went and got crippled, right?  And now you have to look up to them even more ’cause you’re so fucking short.  How fucked up is that?  You had to have your legs cut off, not just at the knees or something like that, but removed almost entirely so now you look like you’ve been sawn in half.  I look down at you and see a half-man who’ll never stand up, never walk, never run again, who’ll always be dependent on bigger, able-bodied men like me.  Am I right, cripple?”  
 
When I heard him go on like this, I started humping his hairy leg harder and faster until I came in an explosive burst all over his leg with a guttural sound I’d never heard myself make before.  I collapsed on the floor in a heap, exhausted just as he came with a roar.  I didn’t think I’d ever had felt such an intense orgasm ever before.  While I was still holding on to his leg, he started jacking himself and came all over me quickly.  Hank scooped me up and laid me on the bed, got a towel and cleaned us both up.  He held me tight in his big arms for a long time.  He whispered “How was that son? Was that what you were hoping for?”  

“Fuck man, that was the most intense sex I’ve ever had, but I also feel really ashamed to say that.”  

“Yes, Crip, but us both getting off so intensely was amazing.  You were fucking my leg so hard I thought you’d hurt yourself or me.  And my dick was so hard I thought it would break there for a minute. But don’t be ashamed. It’s always a mystery what turns us on and believe me, there’s no judgment on my part.  What works, works, as long as it doesn't harm other people.  Like you said, my thing was intense too. I’ve spent forever dreaming about coming all over a legless cripple.”  
 
After we caught are our collective breaths and settled down a bit, I said “Hank,, that was pretty smooth what you did back there.”  

He grinned a bit and said “I don’t know what you’re talking about Jim.”  

“You masterfully concocted a scenario just now that played to both of our various fantasies, which I’d say was damned incredible!”  

“Well Jim, that’s what you do when you care for someone as much as I care for you.”  I felt all warm and tingly inside when he said that.
“Will you spend the night Hank?”  

“Absolutely.  I hope we can play around like this a lot more, Crip.”  

“I hope so too, big guy.  I’ll see you in the morning stud.”  

We both fell into a deep sleep.
 
THE MORNING AFTER
 
In the morning, I woke up in a groggy haze and began to recall all the details of what happened the night before.  Hank was already awake and dressed.  

“Did all that really happen last night or was I dreaming it, Hank?”  

“If by all that happened you mean you practically destroying my leg while I was totally humiliating you, yes it sure as hell did.”  

“Holy shit, Hank! That was incredible. I’ve never experienced anything like that before.”  

“Yeah Crip, I know. That’s what you said before you passed out and went to sleep.”  He laid down on the bed and put his arm around me and held me tight for a long time and there was no need to say anything.  He’d made coffee and put together some breakfast for us, which he served on a tray.  

“I could get used to this”, I said. “Breakfast in bed!”  

“Well don’t ,Crip, ’cause this will probably be the only time it ever happens,” he said with a grin.
 
A bit later, Hank said, “God, I just love your body. It turns me on so much, but it’s not just your body, it’s you and your personality inside that body that turns me on too.  How lucky am I to have met a stud like you?”

“Pretty lucky I guess. There aren’t many studs around like me,” I replied.  

“Pull back the covers, just let me look at it again,” Hank said.  

“Sure,” I said, “but I’m gonna start charging admission to see the freak show.”  

“Hey Jim, I’ll pay anything. You’re absolutely worth it,” and he gave me yet another big hug.
 
He picked me up from the bed and held me tight to his chest and kissed me deeply.  The hug lasted a long time and by the time he put me back down on the bed, I felt really close to him, that our souls had somehow melded together.  He asked if he could dress me and I said sure.  He put my underwear and ‘pants’ back on and slipped my t-shirt over my head and pulled it down real snugly and I was dressed again in a flash.
 
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
 
We went back to my living room sofa, he walking and me hand-walking.  He sat down and I stayed on the floor.  

“Ok, Jim, what do we do now?  I feel like you’re the man I been looking for my entire life.  So there, I’ve said it.”
“Well Hank, I feel the same.  Maybe I’ve been looking for you too, at least since I’ve become a crip, but I dunno. Maybe I was searching for you even before that.  In answer to your question, I think we should enjoy each other, learn more about each other, you know, just continue along like we’ve started to do.  Living together and having a relationship are fraught with all kinds of trials and tribulations. It’s no piece of cake, in the best of circumstances.  And you probably have no idea what its really like with the extra trials and tribulations to have a relationship with a handicapped person.  Let’s see each other often, spend time together, have sex, have fun, just hang out together, and see what develops,” I said.  

“Yes boy, I agree. That would be the best way to approach this thing.”
 
We started hanging out together, going out in public, going to gay bars, restaurants, movies, museums, the beach.  Sometimes he pushed me. He’d gotten a lot better at pushing. It was a lot smoother ride now than that first time.  Sometimes I’d have to push myself. He always decided which it would be, but whichever way it was, I could see he totally enjoyed being seen with me.  And I totally enjoyed being with him.  I enjoyed it when he ‘was my legs,’ as he put it when he pushed me, and I enjoyed it when I had to push myself and had to struggle up slopes or over rough pavement or through heavy doors.  He especially liked seeing these struggles and after an afternoon or evening of them, the sex with us was always hotter than ever.
 
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE STRUGGLE
 
After a night out that required a lot of struggle on my part, he blindfolded me and asked me to suck him off.  This was new, as so far he always preferred to jack himself off and I’d only sucked him off once.  

“You man enough to do that, Crip?”  

“Well Hank, I guess we’ll see,” I replied. 

I took his cock in my mouth gave him the best blow job I’d ever given a guy, starting out low and slow, taking it deep into my throat, then backing off for a bit, and then going for the climax.  

“You little fucker, that was amazing,” he said after he exploded in my mouth.  

“It was amazing for me too.”  

He asked me how so and I said “It felt amazing to have you in my mouth and swallow your cum.  I dunno, it just made me feel more like a man. Made me feel more connected to you. Your manhood turns me on a lot.  I know I can’t be a man like you are, so I guess the next best thing is to give you pleasure and swallow some of your manhood.”

“Well Crip, you can swallow my manhood anytime you want.  But make no mistake about it you are all man inside that torso of yours.  The struggles you have to go through, the struggles that turn me on so much, prove that.  Shit, you're probably more man than I am. Things are easy for Big Strong Hank and I’ve never had to struggle much to do anything to get where I am.”
 
USING THE SKATEBOARD AND THE CRUTCHES
 
Hank came over to my place one Saturday night.  He walked in and got us a couple of beers from the kitchen.  We kissed and made out for a bit on the sofa.  

“Damn, I missed you boy. Missed holding you. Missed kissing you.”  

Hank had been real busy with a project and we hadn’t seen each other all week.  

“Damn Sir, I missed you too. Missed your big, strong, body, missed being in your arms, everything.  What would like to do tonight?”  
“I’d like to do you tonight, of course.  But first, I remember you said you could get around on a skateboard. Could you show me what that looks like?  But first, take your t-shirt off.”  

I took my shirt off and flexed and posed for him a little, like bodybuilders do.  I handwalked over to a closet and got the skateboard out.  

“It’s just a regular skateboard, nothing special about it.”  I got on it, laid on my stomach, and pushed myself around the room a couple of times.  

“That’s so cool Crip. You look really hot on it. Why don’t you use it much?”  

“Well Hank, my place is so small that I’d rather just hand walk.  I’d probably use it at your place more often since it’s so much bigger than mine.  And it’s really not at all safe to use in public, because I’m so low to the ground on it that people wouldn’t see me.”  

“Yeah I can understand,” Hank said. “What about the crutches? Show me how those work.”  

I hauled them out of the closet, along with a couple of pads.  

“It’s best if I cushion my lower body when I support my weight on it. I don’t want to injure my ‘equipment’ if you know what I mean.” I took off my pants and put pads in my pants and put them back on.  I got the crutches and positioned them just right and hoisted my torso up.  I proceeded to crutch around the room a couple of times by using the crutches to raise my whole body so I moved it forward, one ‘step’ at a time.

“See, the crutches are just for balance so I don’t make a fool of myself by falling over.”  

“You use them very often, Son?”  

“No Hank, I don’t.”
“Have you ever tried to use stubbies, Jim?”  

“No I haven’t. They advised against it in rehab. They said my stumps were so short they wouldn’t be an effective way of getting around.”  

“Well Crip, you look so hot crutching on your little stumps and I love seeing your upper body muscles work and flex, I may have to jack off.”  

“No Sir, let me help you with that.  Stand up.”  

He stood up and I stump-walked over to him, got his zipper down and gave him a long blow job.  

“You little fucker! I love the way you show off for me. You make me so happy,” and he reached down, picked me up and held me tight.

“I’m so glad we met!”
 
THE DIRTY CRIPPLE
 
“Hey Crip,” he said one night to me. “I’ve been noticing that when I come over to your place and you’ve been hand walking or crawling a lot, that you get pretty dirty, kinda like a human mop.”  

“Yeah, Hank.  Since I’ve lived alone for quite a while, I don’t clean house as much as I should because it’s hard to do and I get lazy.  Before you came into my life, nobody ever came over very often and it didn’t matter.  I guess I should make more of an effort.”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I kind of like you a little on the dirty side.  It makes you look a little like the guy on the street I knew as a kid or like a blue-collar workman who’s been outside doing stuff.  And as I told you, I like to more dress blue collar in my leisure time.  Actually some of my projects require me to be on-site and crawl around the projects I have under construction.  Would you mind if I wore my work clothes over here and we could be a little dirty together?”  
“No I wouldn’t mind that at all. In fact, I like a whiff of man scents now and then, but only if they're of the mild, sweaty kind.  I smell your man scent sometimes when we’re out and about and I like it.”  

“And I smell yours sometimes, Crip, and like it also.  It reminds me that you’ve struggled all day to push yourself in your wheelchair and hand walk and crawl.”
 
LEATHER

“Speaking of smells,” Hank said the next day, “how would you feel about wearing some leather and getting into the leather scene a bit?”  

“Funny you should mention that, Hank. Maybe I mentioned it to you once, I don’t remember, but just before I lost my legs, I was thinking about leather.  I like the way it looks and smells.  I went out and bought a leather vest, a couple of leather jackets, leather pants and a couple pairs of boots.  I only wore that gear once before the accident.  The friend that was helping me throughout all that chaos packed up most everything I didn’t have any immediate need for and put it in storage.  It’s probably still there after all these years.”
“Awesome, Crip. Can you get to it and bring it home?”  

“Yeah, I could, I guess, but you know I don’t want to revisit my past life.  Since you brought it up, could you get the leather stuff from the storage unit?”  

“I understand, son. There must be a lot of painful memories packed up with that stuff.  Sure, I can do that.”

“Yeah, that would be great, Hank. All the boxes are labeled and there should be one marked ‘Leather.’ I’ll give you the name of the storage place and the key to the storage locker.  And could you also do me a favor?  Could you arrange for some charity to come pick everything else up?  I’ve procrastinated way too long getting rid of that stuff.”  

“Of course son, I’ll be happy to help.”
 
He brought over my box of leather stuff from the storage unit.  I asked him to open it up and he pulled out a leather vest, a motorcycle jacket, a second leather jacket, a pair of leather pants, a couple of armbands and a pair of engineer’s boots.  

“God-damned, Crip! This is top quality, hot stuff,” he said. “Can I dress you up in it, except for the boots, of course?”  

I nodded yes.  He took off my regular clothes, put the leather pants on me, the vest on my bare chest and the motorcycle jacket on over it.  He went and got my wheelchair and I crawled into it.  He pushed me to a full-length mirror where I was a transformed into a legless leather man.  We both were stunned for a minute.  The vest looked terrific on my chest and the motorcycle jacket looked tough and serious.  But my pant legs were long and empty and I started to tear up when I saw that.

“Jim!” he said. “I know the loss and probably the grief you are feeling when you see your empty pant legs and empty boots. It brought all of it back, didn’t it?”  I nodded yes.  

“You’re not going through this alone. I’m right there with you, sharing your loss and grief.  I don’t think for a moment that all the fun and games we play can make up for everything you’ve lost, but it is a way forward.  I love you very much and hope to be big part of your life.”  

“I love you too, Hank.  Thank you for all that you’ve brought into my life recently and I want you in my life as well.  Let’s definitely move forward. I think we’ve made a great start.  But if we’re going to move forward with the leather stuff, then we gotta get my leather pant legs cut off and sewn up.  There is nothing I hate more than empty pant legs dangling and flopping around.”  

Hank asked me how I get my pant legs cut off and sewn up.  I told him I had a tailor that did it and he suggested that we take the leather pants to him for the alteration.  I said okay.
 
THE BLIND CRIPPLE

One day when we were going to play, he said “Would you be okay if we cranked it up a notch, Crip?”  I asked how.  

“Well, since you already have the blindfold on, why don’t we keep it on you for a while?  Would you be okay with that?”  

“Sure, I guess so at least for a while. What? You want make me a blind cripple and add one more level of struggle to my burden?”  

“Shit man, you understand me so well, but this is only pretend. Only a game.  You say the word and I’ll cancel the request.”  
I kept the blindfold on.  He got me dressed again and, as usual, it was to great to feel his hands on my torso rather than see them. It felt very intimate.  He told me I’d have to feel my way around, that he would be nearby to make sure I didn’t hurt myself or crash into stuff.  He wanted me to get off the bed by myself, go into the living room, find my wheelchair and get in it.  I felt around the bed until I found the edge and slid onto the floor.  I started to walk on my hands at first like I always did, but I quickly realized I couldn’t do that and feel the space around me.  I lay flat on the carpet and started feeling my way as I inched forward, crawling.  I could feel Hank’s presence standing over me as I started to bump into furniture but eventually I found the doorway and crawled into the living room.  It couldn’t remember where I had left the wheelchair when I used it last so I crawled around feeling for it, not finding it. 

I said “Hank, I can’t seem to find it and he said ‘It’s not that far away, but it’s folded up, keep feeling around for it’.”  I crawled around some more and finally made contact with it.  I got my torso erect so I could open it. I faced the seat and hoisted myself up in it, got myself turned around in it.  He said “Good job, Crip. Now wheel toward me, just follow my voice. I’ll make sure you don’t crash into anything.”  

I followed his voice until I bumped into him.  I was directly in front of him and he leaned into me just a little and I could feel his very hard cock on my face.  He took my head in his hands and gently rubbed my face all over the bulge his cock made inside his jeans.  I pulled his zipper down with my teeth and used my tongue to fish around for his cock and got it out and into my mouth and he came quickly.  I swallowed and he picked me up roughly and walked into the bedroom and threw me on the bed.  He started giving me a lubed-up hand job slowly at first, then faster and faster. He’d stop for a minute until I’d moan then start up again.  He edged me over and over until all my nerve endings were tingling with ecstasy until he shouted ‘Do it!’ and I shot all over him.  I just laid there trying to catch my breath.  

“That was amazing,” I finally said.  

“You are amazing, Crip,” and he hugged me for a while and then cleaned us both up.  He was right, it was more intense with the blindfold on.
 
ROLE PLAY

 
 “Look,” I said to Hank the next day. “I guess what we did yesterday was role playing, right?”  

“Yes, Crip, it was and it was really hot.”  

“Yeah it was. I could tell how turned on you were.  You are a big man, able-bodied and strong. You probably aren’t always aware of the safety risks for me involved here.  Understand?”  

“Yes Jim, I understand big time.  You are such a unique and precious man to me. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe, to protect you from any harm or peril.”  

“Well Hank, let’s not carried away here. Let’s just say I’m a unique and precious half-man, ok?”  

“You got it, little fucker!”
“That being said,” I continued, “I’m really getting into showing off for you, turning you on, making you hard.  You are a unique and precious man to me too, you big lunk, and this whole role play thing excites me and I wanna continue.  Who knew you could take something terrible like losing your legs and turn it into something so erotic and sensual?”  

“Ah man, you just called me a big lunk. That’s exactly what I feel like sometimes around you. That’s really sweet. I like it a lot.  But I hear you loud and clear about not getting carried away and playing it safe and sane, but I also hear you about making your disability into a positive and glorious thing.”
 
HANK’S DIAGNOSIS

I got a message from Hank saying he needed to talk to me, that it was urgent.  Of course I immediately called him back and asked him what was up.  He said he’d like to come by that evening and talk, saying again it was urgent and going on to say it was about him, not me.  I said sure, I’ll be here.
 
After worrying all afternoon about this urgent talk, he came over that evening.  He said he’d been to the doctor recently, but first he’d like to back up and talk about his childhood, because what he wanted to tell me related to that.  He said that when he was a kid, he’d contracted a mild case of polio.  He was sick for about a month and then it cleared up.  He grew up normally after that except that his legs were always on the thin side, not as muscular and beefy as the rest of him.  In college, he started weight training to bulk up his upper body and to compensate for what polio had done to his legs. Despite all his prodigious efforts at leg training, they only built up some, but never as much as the rest of him.
 
Now as an adult in his forties, he noticed his legs beginning to lose their strength despite his continued leg training. He went to a doctor, who told him he was suffering the effects of ‘post-polio syndrome’.  That refers to weakening of the muscles in the legs after many years of using them normally.  With normal use they just begin to wear out, to the point where the individual can’t walk anymore and often becomes a wheelchair user.  His leg training at the gym only accelerated the process in all likelihood, the doctor said.  This syndrome only affects the legs, it doesn’t affect any other muscles.
 
“So that’s my story Jim.  I also shut my design practice down for six months, so I could focus on this.  I wanted to tell you before our relationship went any further, because its going to have an effect on me in terms of what I can and can’t do and on you too, of course.  And I’m not the able-bodied hunk you thought I was. I’m going to be Wheelchair Hank, at your level, not tall hunky able-bodied Hank.  So, I want you to feel free to opt out of this thing before it develops any further.”
 
I asked how long this had been going on.  He said since before we met.  When I asked why he hadn’t said anything, he said we’d just met and he didn’t want to jinx our budding relationship.  I said there was very little could jinx that since I found him so damn attractive and charismatic.  

“Well,” I said. “Thanks for telling me. It must have been really hard for you to hear this news and even harder to tell me. It’s a lot to take in and process.  I’m so sorry to hear all this and so sorry that you’re going through this.  But Hank, I gotta tell you it doesn’t make any difference at all to how I feel about you or about us.  Yes, it will change a lot of things, but not your personality or how much I like you. You will still be my dominant hunk no matter how you move around.  Yes, I loved it that you were able-bodied and could do all the things I couldn’t.  But it’s not the end of the world or the end of us.  If you do end up using a chair, you’ll still have your legs and some ability to use them, I’m guessing, albeit on a more limited scale.  God, I can think of a bunch of ways that could make us even more kinky.  And if you wind up in a chair, you’ll be the most handsome and studliest wheelchair user around.  I still expect to you to call me Crip, even though you’d also be a ‘Crip’ but I’ll still be more crippled than you and I will continue to call you Sir, because you’ll still be the dominant guy here.  Let me add again I’m really sorry to hear about this. I wouldn’t wish a disability on anyone and especially not you.”
 
“Oh man!” he said. “That’s a relief to hear. I am so relieved, Jim. I can’t begin to tell you how blessed I feel to have met you.  I’m still processing this news myself, as you can imagine.  The doctor says that having reached this point in the leg weakness thing, they usually deteriorate pretty fast and that I should consider using a wheelchair soon.  He also said once the leg muscles conk out they don’t ever recover.”
“Well Sir, I noticed that your legs weren’t as muscular as the rest of your body, but I just thought that maybe you concentrated on your upper body.  Maybe we better start looking for a wheelchair for you before your legs get to that point.  I’m going to miss you pushing my chair, taking control of me. That always felt so good and right, sorta like you owned me.”
“Yes Crip,” he said. “It always did feel right. I’ll miss it too.  But maybe there will other ways I can be in control and demonstrate my ownership of you.  It’s an opportunity, I guess, to explore some new kinks with us, like you said.  If I’m on crutches or use a wheelchair, I’ll still be big and strong Hank.  And yes, you’re right, I should start using a wheelchair soon and not wait for my legs to become totally useless.  I’d prefer to be able to stand up and walk short distances if I have to, you know, not be totally confined to the wheelchair like you are, Crip,” he said as he walked over to me and stood directly in front of me.  Of course I got a hardon when he did this.

“I agree Hank, I wouldn’t want you as crippled as I am. I don’t ever want to see you confined to a wheelchair like I am, Hank.”  

“Thank you for being in my life, Jim.”
 
MORE SURPRISES

I moved into his house soon after that.  He started using a wheelchair full-time once he got me settled in.  It was a shiny ultra-light sports chair.  It took him a while to get used to it, but gradually he got acclimated.  He said it was a relief not walking, as using his legs had gotten more painful.  I was getting used to it also, used to not looking up at him and his not being able to push me anymore.  But changes were afoot and we both had to adapt.  
 
After about a month he proposed we take a road trip together and I said sure.  

“Where are we going,” I asked.  

“That’s part of the surprise. Just trust me and wait and see, ok Crip?”  

We packed some stuff up and wheeled to his big truck and stowed it in the truck bed.  Whenever we went out in the truck, he’d always help me get in the passenger seat first, then stow my chair in the back, then roll around to the driver’s side, get seated, and stow his chair behind the seat.  Although he could still use his legs and feet he didn’t need hand controls, but he had them installed anyway and learned to use them to drive the truck.
 
So off we went on this mysterious adventure.  After a few hours on the road, we arrived at an isolated luxury resort.  He pulled up to the hotel valet parking and the attendant addressed by him by name and said that they’d been expecting him and asked if he needed any help.  He replied ‘Just a little’ and reached behind his seat and pulled out his chair and handed it to the valet, who unfolded it. He slid into it like he had transferred into it all his life.  

“Wait here,” he said to me. “I’ll check us in.”

He wheeled into the hotel and wheeled out again after about ten minutes with a big grin on his face.  

“Ok, we’re all set to go,” he said to me and the valet, adding ”You’ll have to help my friend out too. He’s also in a wheelchair.”

The valet got my chair out of the truck bed and helped me into it.  We rolled to our room, which was very luxurious.  We went in and Hank said “Okay, Cripboy. I wanted to treat you to this long weekend to show my gratitude for you putting up with these changes in my life.  I guess I am now officially ‘Wheelchair Hank’ or ‘Cripman’ now.  How are you doing with all these changes?  You like me in it, boy?  You getting used to my being at your level and not being able to push you?”
“Fuck Sir! I’m adjusting to it okay.  As I’ve told you many times, I like you any way, standing and walking or wheeling and seated.  Look, this was necessary according to the doctor so of course I am good with it, so it’s not a deal breaker by any means.  How are you doing with it?”  

“It will take some getting used to. I mean, I’m slow in it and as you’ve seen, I can do basic things in it but it will take a while to use it as adeptly as you do.  Why don’t you roll over here so I can kiss you, boy?”  

I rolled over to his side and he put his arms around me and kissed me long and passionately.  He asked me to position myself in front of him and crawl into his lap.  I did that and sat on his lap and we embraced each other and kissed some more.  

“This is nice, Crip, real nice. You fit into my lap perfectly because you don’t have one.”  He turned me around and unzipped the fly on my little pants.  He lubed up his hand and started stroking me gently, then faster and faster until I came with an explosion.  

“Real nice, son. Did you like that?”  I said I did, that it was real intimate of getting off in his lap.
 
We hung out at the resort for the four days.  There was a lot do, but most of the activities were for the able‑bodied, not wheelchair users.  But we made the best of it.  Hank and I wheeled around a lot.  I showed him some tricks I’d learned in my time as a chair user.  I even showed him how to do a wheelie, but he couldn’t quite find the right balance point yet.  But the important thing was that he tried.  I told him he’d get the hang of it eventually.
 
There was a hiking trail that was wheelchair accessible and we ‘hiked’ that, winding up at an isolated spot and where I gave him a blow job.  I’d never done this with a wheeler guy before.  I got on the ground, got in front of him in his chair, ‘stood’ on my torso, reached up, pulled his zipper down and went to work.  It was hot to do it outdoors with nature around us.  We batted a tennis ball around on the tennis court a couple of times, but again, since Hank was new to the chair, he hadn’t got the hang of using the tennis racquet while also pushing his chair.  I kept assuring it would come with time.
 
We had dinner one night at the resort. He repeated that it was a relief not to use his legs.  He’d also gotten the forearm crutches, like the doctor advised him, but I hadn’t seen him use them yet.  I told him I couldn’t wait to see him crutching bare-chested, flexing his muscles as he used them. I fantasized giving him head while I was ‘standing’ on my little sawn-off crutches while he stood up on his full-sized crutches.  He said “Damn, Crip, that’d be hot! We’ll do that once we get home.”
 
While we were having dinner, the manager of the resort came over and greeted Hank.  It turned out that he had been an architectural consultant to the resort in the past.  The manager asked if we found things to our satisfaction and we said yes, but that there weren’t a lot of activities for wheelchair users.  He agreed and said they were working on that.  He said that he was surprised to see Hank in a wheelchair, but now that he was, he’d like to hire him again to consult on that and Hank said absolutely, but only if we could both consult.  My friend Jim has been in one a lot longer than I have and could have more valuable input.  Absolutely, the manager said.
 
After dinner Hank said that maybe we should start a two man disability consulting firm. He had experience with the building code compliance issues and I had of a lot of knowledge about life experience issues.

“That’s not a bad idea, Hank. Let’s work on that when we get back.”

We went back to the room and Hank said to strip down to our underwear.  He flexed his bare chest for me a couple of times sitting in his chair and told me to get on the floor.  

“What do you think now, boy? Still think I’m Hank the Hunk?”  

“Absolutely Sir, you’re definitely growing on me.”  

“I bet I am. Show me, son.”  

I pulled out my almost hard cock and he said to jack off, which I did and got cum all over the carpet.  

“Now get me off real good boy.”  

I scooted over to him, stood up on the bottom of my torso and sucked him off.  

“Crip, I love seeing you on the floor like that because I’m still taller than you.”  

“Yes Sir, I plan to spend more time on the floor from now on.”
 
FEELING WHOLE

After we cleaned up and went to bed, we were cuddling and kissing in bed.  Hank said “Crip I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Now that I know you are accepting me as a cripple and don’t have a problem with it, let’s make our relationship official and become domestic partners. What do you say, boy?”

“I’d love that Hank!”
He nodded it was okay.  

“Hank, I want to tell you that for the first time ever, I’m beginning to feel whole again. I’m okay with being a small guy. I’m okay with being a half man freak and a cripple. I’m okay with being a submissive male. Okay with liking some humiliation and verbal abuse. You’ve made me okay with all this stuff by accepting me without judgment. I feel like a whole person now because of you.”

“Well, you know, Crip, I’ve been having similar thoughts.  For the first time ever, I also feel whole.  I accept my fetish. I accept that I won’t be able to walk anymore. Watching your courage and bravery in accepting yours has helped me in accepting my life. You’ve helped me out a lot.  Now all of my secrets and fetishes plus my handicap are out in the open and you’ve allowed me to indulge and even celebrate them without judgment. That is tremendously freeing and shows a tremendous amount of love on both our parts. I love you, stud.”  

“I love you too, stud,” I replied.

 

SIMILAR THOUGHTS