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A new story by DougUK

 

No-one who knew Leonard had ever seen him without the black eye patch which he wore over his left eye. He had arrived at university wearing it, and it was accepted that he had only one eye. No-one ever asked him how he’d lost his left eye, and he never referred to it. It was simply part of his identity. He tended to be very quiet and did not have many friends; although it was generally known that he was gay.

It was during his university years that he lost the hearing in his left ear. No-one noticed particularly when this happened, but occasionally he would not hear a remark made on his left side, and just once or twice he’d turn and say that he was a little deaf on the left and needed something to be repeated.

Whilst at university, he’d attended the Gay and Lesbian Society, at first keeping a very low profile. He was known as a quiet, hard-working and diligent student, and it was not a surprise when he was asked to become the secretary of the Gay and Lesbian Society. When he agreed to this, he made it clear that he was happy to be on the committee but didn’t aspire to become chair or any other role in the society beyond that of the secretary.

James was also a rather quiet student, equally diligent and devoted to his studies, and attended the Gay and Lesbian Society only to sit silently at the back of meetings, not brave enough to make any contribution to the discussions or planning. He did, however, notice the handsome secretary with the striking black eye patch, sitting quietly at meetings taking the minutes, and diffidently bringing minutes of the previous meetings.

It was after one meeting of the society that James nervously approached Leonard. “I’m James,” he said quietly. “Would you like to come with me to the student union for a drink after the meeting this evening?”

Leonard was surprised but pleased. He didn’t have enough confidence to make such a proposal himself, but he had noticed the young man who seemed to be as quiet as himself, sitting at the back of meetings.

James and Leonard became friends and slowly each became more familiar with the other, and freer in the way they talked. After several evenings of shared drinks, and later shared meals, the time came when James boldly invited Leonard back to his room. It was not long before the two young men kissed and discovered that they both liked kissing. In the next few weeks, one thing led to another, until James asked Leonard to stay for the night. They slowly undressed one another, until they were naked. Both had wonderfully beautiful bodies under their very conventional clothes, and once naked found huge pleasure in sensually hugging and cuddling together.

James whispered, “I think I’m in love with you,” but he whispered it into the wrong ear. Leonard turned, frowning. “What did you say? I’m deaf in my left ear.”

Turning to face his handsome friend, James repeated, “I’m in love with you.”

“I’m so glad,” said Leonard, “because I feel the same. Can we be lovers? Can we sleep together?”

“I would like that very much,” said James, lying back on the bed. “Come to me, you beautiful man.”

Leonard lay down.

“Don’t you take your eye patch off in bed?” asked James.

“I do when I’m on my own,” said Leonard, “but never with strangers.”

“I don’t think I’m a stranger,” said James. “Let me take it off you.”

James pulled the back eye patch away from his lover’s face, worried that he’d find some hideous scar; but no, Leonard had a normally shaped eyeball, with a closed eyelid behind the patch.

“What happened to your eye?” said James.

“Nothing,” said Leonard. “Are you ready for a rather shocking revelation? Some years ago, before I came to university, I decided that I didn’t want to use my left eye, so I got a tube of super glue, and glued my eye shut. That was nearly three years ago. I have never been able to open my eye since, although my eyeball was perfectly healthy last time I saw it.”

James pulled his lover close. “I love you my dear man, and I thus I love you for everything, including the very strange desire to be one-eyed.”

“That’s not all,” said Leonard. “There’s more. A year ago, I bought another tube of super glue and squeezed it into my left ear. The glue solidified on my ear drum, and I can hear almost nothing with my left ear.”

“This is a lot to understand,” said James, “but it doesn’t shake my desire for you, and my love for you. Have you any other surprises for me?”

“Not yet,” said Leonard mysteriously. “Now hold me tight, and make love to your one-eyed, one-eared friend.” James kissed him long and hard.

James and Leonard continued with their quietly passionate love affair, and their small circle of friends in the Gay and Lesbian Society became aware that they were now a couple. Always at the back of James’s mind, however, was that very ambiguous remark which Leonard had given when he’d asked if there were any more surprises. Leonard had said “Not yet”. This phrase hung in James’s mind, and one day he decided that he’d ask Leonard about it.

Leonard smiled. “I didn’t know whether you’d picked up on what I said that time,” he said. “I meant it, when you asked about surprises.”

“So,” said James, “you must tell me the truth. I love you, so be confident that with all my love surrounding you, it’s safe to tell your deepest thoughts.”

“Are you really ready for this?” said Leonard.

James nodded, “Tell me all.”

Leonard hesitated, then began hesitantly, “Have you ever heard of BIID? It’s a dreadful gnawing at your guts when you desperately want to change your body.”

“Like only having one eye?”

“Yes,” said Leonard, “and only one ear.” He hesitated.

James frowned. There was something familiar in what Leonard was saying. Hadn’t he had strange and worrying thoughts about wanting to change his own body? He urged this lover say more: “Go on – you can’t stop now.”

“Well,” said Leonard, “I always had this strange desire to be half a man. To cut away my left side, lose my left leg, and my left arm. Gluing my left eye and ear was a small start towards cutting myself in half.”

There was a long pause as James thought about his lover’s devastating desire. Eventually he said, “Deep inside of me, I seem to understand. Do you know what started this weird desire?”

“Yes,” said Leonard. “When I was a small boy, I fell and broke my left arm. At the hospital I was seen by a doctor with no left leg, and no left arm. He walked with one crutch under his right arm. I was hypnotised by the sight of him, and during the long wait for my broken arm to be treated, I just watched him, swinging along on one crutch, and doing everything that was needed, without his left hand or his left foot. That image has never left me, and more and more in my teenage years I wanted to have a body like that doctor. Giving up my left eye and left ear is only the start.”

James gasped. “Do you really mean that you want to have your left leg cut off? And your left arm?”

“Yes, completely and certainly, yes.”

“So you’re really serious?”

“Deadly serious. I’ve never been so serious about anything else in my life. One day, I’ll have the body I want – I’ll be just half a man.”

“It’s a lot to understand, and it’s very shocking. I love you very much, and I hope to stay with you for the rest of my life. My love will stay by your side, but you must give me time to adjust to what you are saying. If you succeed in your plan, you will be very crippled. I don’t think it will stop me loving you, but you must give me time to adjust.”

Leonard looked at James. “I hardly dared to believe that you’d stay by me. It was a huge risk telling you, but I know I will be so much more fulfilled by achieving the body I want, and I’ll be happy. It’s so much better to know that I have your love to support me and carry me into the days ahead.”

“I did not know that falling in love would bring such a challenge,” said James, “but there’s something in me that understands your needs. Did you say it’s called BIID? I suppose that I’ve got sympathy because I have a very small version of it myself.”

“Tell me,” said Leonard.

“Oh, it’s fairly minor compared to you,” said James, “but I’ve always wished to be extremely short-sighted, and be almost blind without glasses, and need really thick lenses to see. Is that also a kind of BIID? I’ve never told anyone before.”

“I think it is, and I’m thankful because it’s a feeling that’s helped you understand where I am coming from.”

James kissed his lover. “It looks like we’re both going to embark upon some life‑changing adventures.”

“I’m already happy with you,” said Leonard, “but just think how much happier we’ll be when we have the bodies we want.”

“I can imagine getting an amputation,” said James, “but I’d want a wooden leg.”

“Prosthesis, dear boy”, said Leonard. “Let’s use the proper words for our ambitions!”

“OK,” said James, “I’m aiming for extreme myopia. That will be very exciting and fulfilling for me.”

The pair supported one another as they embarked upon extensive internet searches to work out how to achieve their aims. The more James saw pictures of one-legged men, the more interested he became in joining his love by wanting an amputation. “Left leg, below my knee,” said James. “I’d love one of those little shiny pylons instead of my left foot and lower leg. It will also help me more to understand you, my dear man.”

Leonard took a very long time to find the contact he needed, but eventually he found someone in Canada who seemed genuine, and who could arrange for him to have an amputation in Cuba. The Canadian contact, who told them his name was Clive, explained that the cost would be high, but Leonard was determined to save hard and one day pay to lose first his left leg, and then later his left arm. “And when we can afford it, you will be able to come with me, and get your left leg done,” he said.

“I’m getting the hang of all this jargon,” said James. “You will be LHD, and I’ll be LBK!”

“The fact that you understand your own body, and your own desires, shows me how you accepted my needs so easily,” said Leonard. “Now our task is to get through university, get good jobs and start saving hard, so that we can look forward to our destinies.”

Both young men were diligent, and encouraged one another to work hard at their studies, and they were rewarded with excellent results after three years of hard work. They had no close friends, and the other students who knew them recognised them as a very hard-working couple of nerds, who were unexpectedly deeply in love.

They decided that they’d move to London for their first jobs, but recognised that to save sufficiently, they’d live in a distant suburb.

James was determined that he’d apply for his first job as a severely myopic person. He’d spent a great deal of time researching the subject and had worked out his ideal combination of “Glasses-over-contacts” that would give him the level of short-sightedness he craved. With Leonard’s help, he found enough money to put his plan into action. To these abbreviations of LHD and LBK, they added a new term: GOC.

Shunning the ordinary high-street optician, he chose a small private, and slightly old-fashioned optician, and nervously approach the shop.

“I’d like to get a pair of contact lenses,” he said.

The optician smiled. “Well, we’ll start with an eye test and see if you need contacts,” he said.

“No, I want you to make me a pair of contact lenses which will make me extremely myopic,” said James. “My eyesight is perfectly OK, but I want to become very myopic.”

“It’s an odd request,” said the optician, “but not the first. I can prescribe lenses which will make you very myopic, which means that you will be almost blind when they are in your eyes. I suppose then you’ll want glasses to correct your vision?”

“Yes please,” said James.

“If I give you minus twenty-five contact lenses, you’ll need very thick heavy glasses to be able to see. Even with the best glasses I can make, you’ll still have some vision difficulties, and you’ll certainly not be able to drive. Is this what you want?”

“Yes please,” said James again.

“Let’s get started,” said the optician.

When the lenses were completed, James was helped by the optician to put them in his eyes for the first time. He was both shocked and delighted how little he could see. Suddenly the world was no more than a vague blur.

“Take them home and practise wearing them,” said the optician. “Come back when you’ve learned to keep them in your eyes for several hours, and we’ll test your eyes and work out the prescription for the glasses.”

James needed Leonard’s help when he was getting used to his new lenses, as he was indeed almost blind with them in. He was determined to persevere, and within a week he was ready to go back to the optician. Clinging to Leonard, he was adamant that he wanted to wear the lenses to travel to the optician, and Leonard joked that he ought to have a white stick.

“Not a joke,” said James. “I will need one if I lose or break my glasses.”

The optician was impressed that James had learned to wear the lenses so quickly and tested his vision with them in his eyes. “It will take about ten days to get glasses with this high prescription made,” he said, “but I’ll phone you when I’ve got them and you can come for a fitting.”

When he returned with Leonard for the fitting, once more wearing his lenses and clinging to his lover, they were both astonished by the extraordinary glasses which the optician had ready. The moment of truth was amazing for James. He put the new glasses on, and the world became clear. “I can see,” he said delighted. He took the glasses off to look again at the blind blur which was all he could see with the lenses in, then put the glasses back on. “Brilliant!” he muttered. “That you so much – you’ve done exactly what I wanted. From now on I’m going to be permanently GOC.”

They both got good jobs in East London, working fairly near one another: with their passionate application to saving for their amputations, they moved into a tiny cheap apartment close to work. Both achieved jobs using their excellent IT skills, both desk jobs which would not be in jeopardy when they became disabled.

Occasionally Leonard would take off his eye patch and without opening his eye, he would apply another layer of glue to ensure he’d never have use of that eye. After several years with his left eye glued closed and wearing the eye patch which characterised him, Leonard was able to fully function in his new job, and James applied for and got an excellent job as a high myopic, meaning that he was committed to wearing his lenses and glasses fulltime and for ever more. Sometimes at work, James would take his glasses off, and loved the total blur that his world had become when he wasn’t wearing them.

They opened a joint savings account, and at the end of each month reviewed their income and expenses and paid as much as they could afford into their “amputation account”.

One day Leonard came home from work in an unusually jovial mood. “What’s up, my dear man?” asked James.

“I called into that tattooist I walk past every day on the way to work,” said Leonard, “and asked if they’d do a minor operation for me.”

“Go on,” said James. “What kind of minor operation?”

“They’ve got a man there who does piercing, and I asked if he’d be up for taking away my left ball.”

“I wondered when that would come up,” said James. “Will he do it?”

“I’ve got an appointment for Friday evening,” said Leonard. “You’d better come with me, as I’ll have to get home again somehow, and might need a hand. He says it’s only a little slit, and my ball will pop out quite easily.”

“I bet it’s not that easy,” said James, “and I bet it will hurt.”

“He’s able to give me a local anaesthetic, a bit like the kind dentists use.”

“And do you reckon you’ll be able to go back to work on Monday?”

“He says I’ll be OK in a couple of days,” said Leonard, “but not to do anything too strenuous.”

“That’s no marathons for a bit then,” laughed James, “as if you ever might have done one.”

The following Friday, Leonard lost his left ball. “Another step in the right direction,” he said, gasping from the sharp pain, and then whimpering as it continued to hurt. He was a little taken aback when the piercer presented him with his left ball in a little glass bottle. “Here you are,” said the man, “I don’t know if you want to keep this.”

It was smaller than they expected, and James took the tiny bottle. “Is that it?” he said. “It felt bigger than that when it was inside you.”

“Thank goodness it’s gone,” said Leonard, “but it bloody hurt a lot getting rid of it.”

Leonard was able to return to work on Monday but had to move carefully for several days whilst the tiny stitches in his scrotum healed.

The two checked their savings account regularly and were able to report to their Canadian contact that they were making great progress towards having enough money for their first trip to Cuba. Before that happened, however, their Canadian friend announced that he was coming to London for a holiday and would like to meet them. They were very pleased with this news, as it would give them a chance to verify that the possibility of getting their amputations in Cuba was indeed real, reliable and safe.

They arranged to meet Clive at Heathrow and were excited to see him crutching towards them pushing his luggage trolley. They knew he was a “LHD” amputee and were struck that he wore his jeans with the left leg cut off and sewn tightly where his leg once was, emphasising his one-leggedness.

They’d explained to Clive in advance that they lived in a very tiny apartment, and he’d have to stay in a modest hotel nearby. He also knew that they did not have a car, and he’d be travelling on the London Underground to get to his hotel. Carrying Clive’s bag for him, the pair had the chance to see at close quarters the issues caused by living on crutches with a very high left leg amputation, and both very much liked what they saw.

After settling Clive into his hotel, the three went to James and Leonard’s small apartment for supper, and the conversation was predictable. Clive explained that he’d been to Cuba twice: first for a below-knee amputation, then for the residual leg to be removed at his hip.

“It was funny,” he said. “After they cut off my foot and part of my lower leg, I was very pleased. Soon I got a prosthetic and learned to walk on it. With long pants on, no-one knew I was disabled, and that was a disappointment. I realised that I needed to lose my leg completely to feel that I was the cripple I wanted to be. With no stump, and no desire to try and stagger about with my left hip in a bucket of some kind, I decided I would spend my life on crutches, and have every pair of pants cut off and sewn so that it was very clear that there’s nothing left of my left leg.”

“Nothing at all?” said Leonard. “That’s exactly what I want.”

“You’ve given me something to think about,” said James. “I’m only planning for an LBK amputation. Do you think I’ll regret it in the way you did, and want to go back for a much higher amputation?”

“Who knows?” said Clive. “We are all different, but I can tell you this: most of the men who’ve had lower leg amputations come back eventually for a further operation. Not many BIID sufferers are satisfied by below knee amputations.”

“I have to ask,” said Leonard, “if there has ever been a time when you regretted getting your leg cut off?”

“Absolutely never, not once,” said Clive. “My only regret is that I didn’t do it when I was younger. If only I’d had the money and contacts when I was about seventeen, I’d have done it then.”

“I’m like that,” said Leonard, “but we’re both twenty-two, and still saving. I’ve wanted to lose my arm and leg since I was about twelve.”

“Be content,” said Clive. “Your time will come quite soon. I can tell from the way you’re dedicated to saving for the operations, that you’ll have enough in a year or two, and to achieve your amputations when you’re still in your twenties is amazing. You can hope for sixty or seventy years ahead of you as cripples, enjoying your modified bodies.”

Neither Leonard nor James could take time off work to show Clive around London, but when the weekend came they made the most of two whole days of sightseeing. They loved being out and about with Clive, and the close observations they were making of his plight gave them an even great determination to achieve their amputations as quickly as possible.

Before he left, Clive went over the basic arrangements for their travel to Cuba. “I suggest that you come to me in Canada,” he said, “and we’ll buy basic sports wheelchairs for you both. I’ll fly to Cuba with you, and we’ll take your chairs as luggage. It’s hopeless trying to buy one in Cuba – it will be a clunky old thing that you’d hate; you both need modern speedy wheels for your recovery, and for relief when you want a rest from your crutches. You’ll be in Cuba for a couple of weeks, then come back to my place for at least a couple more before you fly home to start your new life.”

“Are you going to tell people the truth, or will you need a cover story?” said Clive.

“I’ve never told anyone but James that I glued my own eye closed, or destroyed my left ear, or even had my left ball removed, and I don’t think I want to come-out as a very strange person who wants voluntary amputations,” said Leonard.

“I’m the same,” said James. “I think we need a cover story.”

“I think that will have to be a car crash,” said Clive. “It’s not a great cover, but with you both amputated on the same day, it’s the only obvious cover we can have. Just take two weeks away from work and buy a ticket for your return flight, so it will look as if you intend to return home after a fortnight, and then the ‘accident’ will happen, and you’ll have to change arrangements accordingly.”

“And here’s another thing,” he continued, “I assume you’ve realised you can’t stay in this tiny apartment. It’s not wheelchair friendly, and you’ll both need wheelchairs when you first get back to London. You must find a more suitable apartment and move into it before you fly. You must be sure before you come to me and we go for your operations, that you leave it ready here for wheelchair living.”

“A more expensive flat will delay saving for our trip,” said Leonard ruefully, “but you’re right. We’ll have to get everything ready, especially as we’re going to get our amputations together.”

They continued to exchange emails with Clive, and the weeks and months crept by as they continued to plan for the great trip to Cuba. They found a much better apartment, and at first were horrified to find they had to pay double the rent, but they realised the need to be in a properly wheelchair-friendly flat. Determined to learn to walk with crutches as soon as possible, they bought two pairs and stood them in the hallway, ready for their return.

“We might be traveling as wheelchair users,” said Leonard, “but we’ll be up on crutches as soon as we can be.”

At last the time arrived. “Six more months, and we’ll have more than enough money,” announced Leonard. “In fact, we’ll have quite a lot of surplus. I think it’s time to book flights and get our passports.”

“This is it, then,” said James, “no second thoughts?”

“None,” said Leonard. “You?”

“I’m ready,” said James.

They emailed Clive, who in turn booked them into the Cuban hospital, made the arrangements with his special surgeon who would operate on them both, and booked a hotel near the hospital where they would spend the second week of their initial recovery.

They arranged to take two weeks away from work – and amazed colleagues, who’d always thought of them as workaholics and never seen them go on any holiday, when they told them that they would be flying to Canada to visit “an old friend from university days”.

On the plane, James said to Leonard, “I’m worried about something.”

“You’re not changing you mind, are you?”

“Far from it, I’m committed and excited. I’ll never change my mind, but I’ve had a thought. If we are going to explain our amputations by claiming to be in a bad traffic accident, that will be OK. But then you’ll want to go back in a couple of years and have your arm taken, and I might want my below knee amputation to be re-done above knee, like Clive said. No-one at work will believe that we’ve been back to Canada a second time and been in another life‑changing accident a second time. It’s far too peculiar.”

“I’ve been having the same thought,” said Leonard. “What should we do?”

“We have a choice,” said James. “Either we tell the truth, and tell them all our changes are voluntary, or we get everything done in one session, and that’s that. We’ve saved enough to have everything done on this trip, haven’t we?”

“I think we’ve enough money, but it’s going to be a surprise for Clive.”

“It’s going to be a surprise for both of us as well,” said James, “but the more I think about it, the more I think we should only make this trip to Cuba once.”

“It’s a bigger decision for you than for me,” said Leonard. “I’ve known exactly what I’ve wanted for some years, and I’m ready to become the double amputee I’ve always dreamed of being, but for you it’s a different matter. I know what Clive said has played on your mind ever since he said it, and only you can take the final decision.”

“I think I know what I will say,” said James, “but I’m still thinking very carefully. I’ll have a definite decision when we get there, and once I’ve made my decision, I won’t change my mind.”

Clive met them at the airport, and once more they were pleased to see their one-legged friend and observe closely how he coped with the challenges of everyday life. At his home that evening, they explained their decision to visit Cuba only once.

“This means I’ll have both my left leg taken at my hip, and my left arm taken at my shoulder,” said Leonard. “I’m sure you, Clive, understand how pleased I will be when my surgery is complete.”

“Losing my left leg cured me of my BIID,” said Clive, “and I’m sure losing both arm and leg will cure yours. I will phone the surgeon in the morning and warn him that he’ll be doing more surgeries than planned. But what about you, James? What’s your decision?”

“I know what I want,” said James mysteriously, “and I won’t change my mind, but I’m keeping quiet until the day of the surgery. Then I’ll reveal my deepest thoughts, and most sincere need.”

Leonard and Clive looked at one another. “You’re quite sure what you will ask for?” said Clive.

“I’m sure,” said James.

Clive showed them the wheelchairs he’d bought on their behalf, and they sat to try them. “That’s it,” grinned Clive, “You’re not to stand up again. You’ll use your chairs all day tomorrow, and the following day when we go to the airport, and indeed when we get to Cuba. After all, you both want leg amputations, whatever your decision James, so you can both get used to wheeling. And Leonard, my dear man, you can use your right leg on the floor, but you can’t use your left hand.” 

They rolled around Clive’s house for a day and checked out the paperwork for the trip to Cuba. Two days after leaving London, they were on a Cuban flight, and landed in the evening. Clive took them to their hotel, and they experienced arriving and checking in as wheelchair users. “This hotel knows me,” explained Clive, “and they know why we’re here. Tomorrow you’ll have your surgeries and stay in hospital for about a week. When you are ready to be discharged, you’ll come back here for another week of healing, having your wounds checked, and learning to become independent in your wheelchairs. Hospital staff will come to the hotel to check you and will agree when you should be allowed to fly back to Canada. You’ll stay with me in Canada for as long as it takes, and when you’re ready, you’ll be flying back to London in your new bodies. Now sleep well my dear friends – oh, and no breakfast in the morning!”

In bed, they held tight to one another. “This is it,” said James. “This time tomorrow we’ll be changed men, with our new bodies.”

“I will be impatient to get up onto crutches,” said Leonard.

“So will I,” said James, “but I bet you’ll be up and crutching quicker than me.”

“Is that a clue?”

“It might be,” smiled James, “but you’ll have to wait to find out.”

They slept well, confident in the steps they were taking to achieve their perfect bodies. Clive knocked on their bedroom door very early in the morning. Leonard quickly pulled on his eye patch and James put his contacts into his eyes, and pulled on his heavy glasses. They went together to the hospital, Clive as always on his crutches, and Leonard and James using their wheelchairs.

They met their surgeon who spoke very good English and welcomed them to his hospital. “We have you both scheduled for surgery today,” he confirmed, “and we’ll take Leonard to the theatre first, and return for you James. Now this is the moment, the final moment, when you can change your mind. After this there’s no going back. Are you certain that you wish me to amputate your left leg and your left arm, Leonard?”

“Yes, completely certain,” said Leonard, “my left leg as high up to my hip as possible, leaving no stump, and my left arm also as high as possible, with no stump. I have waited a long time for this, and I’m ready.”

“And you James, your left leg below your knee?”

“No,” said James. Leonard and Clive gasped and turned to James.

“What?” said Leonard.

“Not below my knee: my left leg is to be taken as high as Leonard’s, at my hip.”

“My God,” said Leonard, wheeling close to James and embracing him, “are you quite sure? Is this what you’ve been thinking about all this time? You’ll be as crippled as me.”

“Quite sure,” said James. “We’ve been looking at images on the internet for the last five years whilst we’ve been planning our amputations, and I’ve repeatedly seen men with the body I truly desire. I’ve thought about this long and hard, and Clive’s talk to us, quite a while ago, helped me to realise that I would never be satisfied by just a below knee amputation of just one foot and leg.”

“I love you so much,” said Leonard, “and I know you will feel marvellous when you’ve had surgery.”

“So dear friendly surgeon, I’m ready. Let’s go,” said James.

“Leonard first,” said the surgeon. “Say goodbye for now. The next time you see him, he’ll be half a man.”

“And the first time you see me,” said James, “I’ll also have reached my goal.”

They wheeled close to hug before Leonard left with the surgeon. As James leaned close to him, Leonard said, “My dear lover, when we have recovered and are back in London with our lives changed forever, will you marry me?”

James grinned, “I decided a long time ago that I would, but I was waiting until this moment before I asked you. Of course, I’ll marry you, even though you’ll be only half of the man I fell in love with.”

The surgeon and his team took Leonard on his wheelchair towards the theatre suite, leaving James with Clive. “Has he gone?” said James.

“Yes,” said Clive. “Do you need to talk?”

“Yes,” said James. “I’ve not told Leonard, but I know he will be delighted with my plan. I don’t want one leg taken away, I want both of them cut off at my hips, so that there’s no sign I ever had legs. We’ve often looked at photos and videos on the internet of men who are completely legless. I love the idea, and over the last two or three years I’ve come to the decision that it’s what I want. You were right, I would never have been satisfied with LBK, and for a very long time I’ve been secretly needing to be DHD. It’s now or never – and I know Leonard will be delighted. I’ll be half a man, just like him, but his division is vertical, and my division will be horizontal. I can’t wait, like him, to be half a man, but for me it’s losing both legs as completely as possible. 

“I’m imagining the scene,” said Clive. “Two men getting married, with only one leg between them!”

“Two halves,” smiled James, “which together will make one whole one!”